She got to know a man through the Internet and she wants to carry on talking to him and getting to know him because she wants to marry him
I am a Muslim woman and I want to get married to one of the brothers whom I have met on the Internet. He is a convert to Islam and he lives abroad, and he has good character, but he does not have a job, but he will find one soon –– in sha Allah.
As for me, I am in my final year of university, and my parents will not let me get married until after I have finished my studies; in other words, we have six months to wait. During this time we want to get to know one another better, so that each of us will know how compatible they are with the other, because we cannot introduce the topic to my guardian like that, without details about the person I want to marry, and I want to be certain that he is suitable to be a father in the future and able to spend on the family’s maintenance, and so on. In other words, I do not want to give my family any chance, even if it is slight, to reject this man. I have prayed istikhaarah, and it seems that what I have learned about him up till now is good.
What do you suggest with regard to ways of communicating with him, within the bounds of modesty, moderation and Islamic teachings?
Praise be to Allah.
Ascertaining that a suitor is qualified in terms of character and religious commitment is one of the two foundations of a successful marriage; the other foundation is emotional compatibility and inclination of the heart. The first foundation is the more important, because character and religious commitment form the basis of every successful relationship and happy household, even if it is devoid of complete love and emotional harmony.
Hence attention should be paid to this foundation as much as is possible, and help should be sought from Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, to choose one who is religiously committed and of good character. We have previously stated in fatwa no. 105728 some of the means that will help to achieve this aim.
With regard to conversations between a man and a woman who are not mahrams via chat programs, the basic principle concerning this is that it is not allowed, because it opens the door to evil and fitnah. How often have such conversations brought evil and calamity to the participants, and even caused them to become infatuated, and has led to some of them committing immoral actions and sins. The Shaytaan may cause each party to see in the other characteristics that cause them to become infatuated, which has a negative impact on their worldly and religious affairs.
Islam closes all the doors that may lead to fitnah. Hence it forbids speaking in a soft voice, shaking hands with a non-mahram woman, looking at her and being alone with her. These private conversations are one of the causes of fitnah, as is well known.
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, so long as this correspondence is free of immoral matters, infatuation and so on?
It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah to which that leads. The man may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying to tempt him and tempt her. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) instructed the one who hears of the Dajjaal to keep far away from him, and he said that a man may come to him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying to influence him until he confuses him.
Correspondence between young men and young women is a great fitnah and poses a grave danger; it should be strictly avoided, even if the questioner says that he is not infatuated with her.
End quote from Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 96
Undoubtedly talking via chat has a greater impact and poses a greater danger than corresponding by mail. So fear Allah and refrain from talking to this man. That is safer for your religious commitment and is purer for your heart. You should understand that marriage to a righteous man is a blessing from Allah, may He be exalted, and a blessing cannot be attained by means of sin.
If this man wants to marry you, then let him approach the matter properly and correspond with your guardian in order to propose marriage to you. Then after that, the matter of ascertaining his religious commitment and character may be done by means that are Islamically acceptable, which we have explained in the fatwa referred to above.
Moreover, this matter is in fact the responsibility of the guardian. One of his most important roles is being in charge of the marriage contract. He should examine the situation of the suitor and find out about him to see whether he is compatible, qualified, and able to fulfill the duties of marriage. The woman is not able to decide about these matters in an objective and correct manner.
If you can inform him of what he must do before he comes to propose marriage to you, then when he has the financial means and is compatible, he must approach the matter properly, and he should approach your father and get to know your family.
And Allah knows best.
Is it permissible for him to adopt a girl whom his wife had adopted when she was alive?
does an adopted father has the right to keep an adopted daughter after the foster mother has died ?
Praise be to Allah.
We have previously explained that the word adoption, as customarily used by people, may mean two things:
1. Undertaking to raise a child and care for him, whilst attributing that adopted child to the adoptive family and regarding him as one of them.
2. Undertaking to raise a child and care for him, without changing his name (i.e., still attributing him to his original lineage).
The former was permissible at the beginning of Islam, then it was declared invalid by the Qur’an. The latter is permissible and it is prescribed in Islam.
See the answer to question no. 126003
If the adoption of that girl was of the first type, whereby this girl was regarded as being the same as the couple’s other children in terms of lineage, inheritance and mahram relationship, then it is haraam and it is not permissible to continue it, whether the wife has died or not. If your wife did that during her lifetime, it is not permissible to continue that after she dies.
But if it was of the second type, there is nothing wrong with it; rather it comes under the heading of favours and kindness to other people. If the adopted girl was also an orphan, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “I and the one who sponsors an orphan will be like this in Paradise,” and he gestured with his index finger and middle finger. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6005)
So carry on with what you are doing of taking care of this girl and sponsoring her, without attributing her to yourself or making her an heir like one of your own daughters, or regarding her as one of your mahrams who can uncover in front of you, or with whom you can be alone, or who can travel with you like one of your own daughters, once she reaches puberty or is close to it, and becomes a woman who is regarded as desirable. All of that is not permissible.
There is nothing wrong with you marrying her, if that is appropriate, or with one of your sons marrying her, if you have a son.
Please see the answers to questions no. 5201 and 185184
And Allah knows best.
Ruling on exchanging an old phone for a new phone, and paying a sum of money in return for that
what is the ruling of exchanging items with a company? my example:
my sister has an iPhone 4 and she has had it for 1 year, she bought it from someone else who had it for about a year and a half. her iPhone 4s screen is cracked. she wanted to go to the apple store and give them her iPhone 4 so they can fix the iPhone. the way they deal with it is if you don’t have a warranty you pay them $100 and they give you a new iPhone 4, i told my sister that you can pay them and extra $100 or $200 and you can get an iPhone 4s or an iPhone 5. Technically you have already paid for an iPhone 4 and you are adding the left amount of price for the iPhone 5 or 4s. my mum said ibdaal is haraam and that this is ibdaal, is this haraam?
Praise be to Allah.
This transaction that your sister wants to do, to exchange the damaged phone for an undamaged phone, and paying the difference to the company is a transaction that is permissible according to Islam. There is nothing wrong with it, because mobile phones do not come under the heading of the commodities in which it is stipulated that any exchange must be like-for-like in order to avoid riba. Therefore there is nothing wrong with exchanging a phone for a similar phone or one that is better than it, regardless of whether or not she pays an extra amount of money. In fact she is buying the new phone from them and paying for it by giving them the old phone plus this additional amount.
We have previously discussed the types of commodities in which it is haraam to give more in return for less (of the same commodity) in order to avoid riba, in fatwa no. 118149
And Allah knows best.
Does the death of an elderly person cause calamity or a decrease in barakah (blessing) for his surviving family members?
We have a saying in our culture when elderly people die; they say that calamity will befall the surviving family members. They also say that their death will cause a decrease in Allah’s blessing (barakah) for the surviving relatives.
How can we understand these words in accordance with Islam? Is what they say correct?
Praise be to Allah.
Death is a great calamity and trial, with which a person’s good deeds and lifespan come to an end, and the individual goes to meet his Lord. If he did good then the outcome will be good, and if he did evil than the outcome will be bad. Death causes tears to flow, saddens the heart and provokes grief.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)” [al-Baqarah 2:155]. Loss of lives is included among the calamities that may befall people.
And Allah knows best.
All of this has to do with general guidelines. With regard to what is mentioned in the question, about the death of elderly people being a cause for calamity to befall the family, or a cause of a decrease in barakah, this is something for which there is no evidence whatsoever. People older and younger are constantly dying; if the death of an elderly person was a cause for a decrease in barakah or of calamity occurring, barakah would have been erased in this world and one calamity after another would have befallen the members of every household. But this is contrary to what is seen and known, and it is different from the way in which Allah has ordained things should occur in this world. How many elderly people have died, yet their families enjoyed blessing after they were gone, either because of wealth that was left to them or because of a blessing that was bestowed upon them, or because of a woman getting married and other things that are seen and well-known.
Moreover, what connection do the living have with the death of the elderly person, such that calamity as mentioned by this questioner would befall them, regardless of whether the deceased was righteous or otherwise? Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Whoever goes right, then he goes right only for the benefit of his own self. And whoever goes astray, then he goes astray to his own loss. No one laden with burdens can bear another’s burden”
Rather real calamity befalls people with the death of a scholar of whose knowledge the people are now deprived, or one who was devoted to worship and obedience, or one who did things that bring benefit to people, such as striving in jihad for the sake of Allah, enjoining what is good, forbidding what is evil, giving charity and zakaah, and so on. All of that has nothing to do with whether a person is young or old; rather it has to do with how he is, the benefits he brings to people, and the blessings he brings to his surroundings. Undoubtedly the death of such people is a loss of goodness and barakah, and detracts from people’s religious and worldly interests. Those who are most sorely affected by their loss are those who are close to them, but this does not mean that another calamity will befall them after that, unless they do after that an action that deserves that. It was narrated that ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say: “Allah will not take away knowledge by snatching it away from the people, rather He will take away knowledge by taking away the scholars until, when there is no scholar left, people will turn to ignorant leaders who will be asked questions and will issue fatwas without knowledge. They will go astray and lead others astray.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (100) and Muslim (2673)
And Allah knows best.
Ruling on one who commits zina after doing the marriage contract and before consummation of the marriage
There is a young man who married a young woman, but she is still living in her family’s home and the marriage has not been consummated with her. Her father gave her the mahr in full, according to local tradition and custom. But the girl fell into zina and became pregnant as a result. The hadd punishment was carried out on her and on the one who committed zina with her, namely one hundred lashes, according to the text of the Holy Qur’an, and banishment for one hijri year. Then we separated her from her husband, and ruled that the entire mahr that her father took must be returned. We quoted as evidence for that the hadeeth of Abu Dawood, who narrated it in Kitaab an-Nikaah (the Book of Maariage), when the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) ordered that a woman who was pregnant as a result of zina be given one hundred lashes, and he said: “She is entitled to the mahr for what she permitted of intimacy with her.” And he separated them. In this case, the husband did not have any intimacy with his wife at all.
Our question is: did we do the right thing in ruling that the entire mahr taken by the father in his daughter’s name should be returned, and we said that she is not entitled to any mahr, because of the apparent meaning of the hadeeth quoted above?
Praise be to Allah.
If a woman commits zina before consummation of her marriage, then she is to be treated in the same manner as a virgin with regard to the hadd punishment, because the description of having been previously married, in which case the hadd punishment is stoning, does not come into effect merely with the drawing up of the marriage contract, even if the spouses have been alone together in addition to having done the marriage contract. Rather it is essential that vaginal intercourse should have occurred, as we have explained in fatwa no. 120913
The hadd punishment for an unmarried woman, if she commits zina, is one hundred lashes. The basis for that is the verse in which Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment.” [an-Noor 24:2].
To that may be added banishment for one each year; this is proven according to the Sunnah. It was narrated that ‘Ubaadah ibn as-Saamit said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Learn from me, learn from me. Allah has ordained a way for them. For an unmarried person with an unmarried person, one hundred lashes and exile for one year. For a married person with a married person, one hundred lashes and stoning.”
Narrated by Muslim (1690), Abu Dawood (4415) and at-Tirmidhi (1434).
This is the view of the majority of scholars, even though some of them differed concerning that. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) stated that there was a difference of opinion concerning that, and he quoted the evidence of those who say that the woman is not to be banished. He said:
In addition to flogging, the zaani is to be banished for one year, according to the majority of scholars. That was narrated from the Rightly Guided Caliphs, and it was the view of Ubayy, Ibn Mas‘ood and Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them), as well as ‘Ata’, Tawoos, ath-Thawri, Ibn Abi Layla, ash-Shaafa‘i, Ishaaq and Abu Thawr.
Maalik and al-Awzaa‘i said:
Only the man is to be exiled and not the woman, because the woman needs to be guarded and protected, and because her exile will be either with or without a mahram, and it is not permissible for her to be exiled without a mahram, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to travel the distance of one day and one night except with a mahram.” Moreover, exiling her without a mahram exposes her to temptation and may be the cause of her being neglected. However, if she is exiled with a mahram, that is exiling someone who did not commit zina and banishing someone who did not commit a sin, even if she is forced to give him money in return. Doing that is adding to the punishment something that is not prescribed.
End quote from al-Mughni (9/43)
The correct view concerning this matter is that a woman may be exiled if she has a mahram with her, because the hadeeths that speak of exile are general in meaning and include everyone who commits zina, whether man or woman.
An-Nawawi said in his commentary on the hadeeth of ‘Ubaadah quoted above: With regard to the words of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) “and he is to be banished for one year”, this gives proof for ash-Shaafa‘i and the majority of scholars, who said that punishment for one year is obligatory, whether the guilty party is a man or a woman.
End quote from Sharh an-Nawawi ‘ala Muslim (11/189)
But if she does not have a mahram, then that she is not to be banished, because banishing her in that case would be exposing her to temptation and encouraging her to deviate.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said: She is to be banished for one year, so long as she has a mahram, and she is to be banished to a safe place. The fuqaha’ of the (four) madhhabs are of the view that she is to be banished, even if she has no mahram.
The second view is the one that is more correct, that she should not be banished if she is on her own. That is because the purpose behind banishment is to keep her away from temptation, but if she is exiled on her own, that is more likely to lead to temptation and evil, because she has no one with her to check her, and because if she is exiled without a mahram – especially if she needs money – then she may end up selling her honour so that she can eat and drink.
The correct view is that if she does not have a mahram, it is not permissible for her to be exiled. But what should we do? Some of the scholars said that she should be taken out to a nearby town, within the distance at which shortening prayers become permissible, and her guardian should be instructed to keep an eye on her. But the correct view is that there is no need for that, and she should remain in her own city.
It was also said that she should be detained in a safe place. Detention in this case takes the place of exile. That is because she will not get in touch with anyone and no one will get in touch with her and this opinion carries some weight.
End quote from ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘ ‘ala Zaad al-Mustaqni‘ (14/237)
It is not necessary to separate a woman who committed zina and her husband, whether she committed zina before or after consummation of the marriage, because marriage is not rendered invalid by zina. Ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If a man’s wife commits zina, or her husband commits zina, the marriage is not annulled, whether that occurred before consummation of the marriage or afterwards, according to most of the scholars.
End quote from al-Mughni (9/565).
If the husband chooses to separate from his wife who committed zina before consummation of the marriage, then he must divorce her (talaaq), and if he divorces her then she is entitled to half of the agreed-upon mahr, because Allah , may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “And if you divorce them before you have touched (had a sexual relation with) them, and you have appointed unto them the Mahr (bridal money given by the husbands to his wife at the time of marriage), then pay half of that (Mahr), unless they (the women) agree to forego it, or he (the husband), in whose hands is the marriage tie, agrees to forego and give her full appointed Mahr” [al-Baqarah 2:237].
It is permissible for the husband to prevent her marrying someone else by refusing to divorce her or consummate the marriage with her, so that she will release herself from him by giving wealth, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good” [an-Nisa’ 4:19].
The “open illegal sexual intercourse” mentioned in the verse is zina, as we have explained in detail in fatwa no. 146100.
And Allah knows best.